The Sake of the Sake
by Unassailable Heart
Summary: Well, the X-Men are too busy training to have much free time to ponder the mysteries of the universe. But the Brotherhood and the Acolytes? Maybe they have a little too much time...
1. Chapter 1

Magneto sat at the head of the table, brooding. Around him sat his (somewhat) loyal acolytes. Pyro fiddled nervously with a box of matches, trying not to disturb Magneto, or to bother Mystique, who sat next to him. On the other side of the table sat Sabretooth, who was filing his nails into points, and Colossus, rubbing anxiously at his metal skin. Magneto surveyed his minions, and decided they were sufficiently intimidated. It was time.

"My acolytes," He began, "I have devised a new plan to crush the X-Men, and bring about mutant superiority! Hear this-"

"Do we have to?" interrupted Mystique. "None of your plans ever work. All that happens is that we get injured and humiliated by the X-Men."

"Silence!" Magneto pounded the table. "I am a genius! I have simply been biding my time, luring the X-Men into a false sense of security!"

"Oh, obviously!" Pyro hastened to add. "And, we just love the, um, timing! Yeah, that's it, the timing of your plans. It's _almost_ enough time to recover from the last one!"

Magneto glared at him so hard his helmet almost fell off. Pyro hurriedly struck a match and muttered the word fire over and over and over.

"Enough!" Magneto whacked the table again, then whimpered and rubbed his hand. Sabertooth snickered. Trying to pretend that didn't happen, Magneto proceeded. "I have bought a large amount of tinfoil. We will completely cover Bayville with it. Then, Mystique will turn into a pterodactyl, and fly me over the Atlantic Ocean. Using my magnetic powers of magnetism, I will pull Bayville into the sea! Therefore obliterating the X-Men! There is no way this could fail!"

"Are you joking? There is no way this could work!" Sabretooth argued.

"What I want to know is," Pyro said timidly, "where you got the money to buy all that tinfoil."

"Hey, where do you get the money to fund all your schemes? You don't have a job. Even though you make me work…" Mystique said.

"And who's gonna put all that tinfoil all over town?" added Colossus.

"First off, Mystique, working at a school with my child must be a joy." Magneto said, ignoring the snort Mystique gave him in reply, "and second, Pyro, I got the money working as a lawn gnome in Vinny-tasia. Life there was hard for people like me… But I did what I could, Walking twenty miles, back and forth to my job, uphill both ways, standing in a garden all night to keep the trolls away."

"You worked as a lawn gnome? That explains your fashion sense," said Sabretooth.

Magneto almost hit the table again, but remembering the last time, settled for a harsh glare.

"But who's gonna put the tinfoil around?" insisted Colossus.

"I was just getting to that!" shrieked Magneto. "I'll make the Brotherhood do it! Mystique, when you return to the boarding house, there should be several trucks full of foil waiting there. Inform the Brotherhood what they must do! Is there any other questions?"

"Yeah." Said Pyro. "Does Mystique or you have legal custody of the Brotherhood?"

"What?"

"I wanna know. And where did Quicksilver live before he came to the boarding house?"

"Well- where did Toad live?" countered Magneto. "Cos from what I heard-"

There was a cough from the doorway. In it, stood- Mystique?

"What," she said, her voice dangerously calm. "In the name of sanity, which is something you all obviously don't posses, is going on here?"

Pietro reached up and pulled the pot from his head and tugged the red blanket off his shoulders. Around him, the rest of the Brotherhood was doing similar things. Toad had pulled off the orange sweatshirt he was wearing, and used it to rub out some of the gel that had kept his hair in spikes. Rogue was wiping blue makeup off her face. There was a painful sounding rrriip! As Blob puller silver duct tape off his arms, and Lance had put down the file and the blonde wig he had been wearing.

"I'm waiting." said Mystique, tapping her foot.

"Uhh," Pietro looked around, hoping some kind of decent excuse would come to mind. One didn't. Instead, he handed her an empty cardboard tube, the object that had started the whole thing. "We need more tinfoil."


	2. Chapter 2

Evan Daniels sat at the foot of his bed, sulking. "You mess up one time, and they smash you!" The thirteen year old complained.

Ping!

Evan's head jerked around, looking for the source of the sound, but finding nothing, went back to sulking.

"I mean, how was I supposed to remember not to skateboard in the house?"

Ping!

"New skateboard, long hallway, I just wanted to try it out!"

Ping!

"And you can't really see the skid mark if you keep the light off…"

Ping!

"Argh!" Evan stormed over to the window and jerked it out, just in time to get hit in the face with a rock. "Ow! What is your problem!"

"Shh!" hissed the white haired young boy standing under Evans window. "It's not my fault you didn't warn me you were gonna open it."

"Why are you here Pietro? I'm grounded!"

Pietro spread his hands, as if to imply he was God's gift to mankind— which he probably thought he was. "I'm here to keep you company! Can I come up?"

Evan glanced nervously at the door. "I guess so. But if we get caught, I'm saying you forced your way into my room."

"Wow dude, way to throw me under the bus, _and_ make me sound like a creeper!" Pietro said as he climbed up onto the porch railing, then onto the roof and through Evans window. "So why'ya grounded?"

"Got caught skateboarding in the house," Evan admitted.

"Didn't you get yelled at for doing that yesterday?"

"Well yeah, but it was a new board, and I just wanted to try it out…"

"You know there's a sidewalk right in front of your house, right? We walk on it every day."

"Shut up! You're worse than my mom." Evan complained, walking over to sit on his bed. Pietro followed, setting his backpack down with a metallic clang.

"Dude, whatcha got in there? Silverware?" asked Evan.

"No, it's a haircutting kit. I picked it up from the store for my neighbor. You know, the lady with pink hair? It's a bunch of different scissors, and a razor and stuff." Pietro replied, dumping the object onto Evans bed.

"Wow, what does she need all this for?"

"She's going to hair cutting school."

"You need to go to go to school to learn how to cut hair?" Evan said, rubbing a hand across his own head of blond hair. "That's stupid! I could cut hair!"

"No you couldn't! It's a lot harder than it looks!"

"Oh yeah? I bet I could do a better job of it than you could, Pietro!"

"Ooh, sounds like a challenge." Pietro said, picking up a pair of scissors. "Snip snip."

"I'm going first." Insisted Evan, grabbing the scissors. "Sit in this chair."

"Okay. But don't mess up! My hair one of my best features…"

Evan rolled his eyes, and got to work.

Ten minutes later, he was ready to retract his statement that cutting hair was easy. But he wasn't really sure how to fix what he'd don't, and every snip just seemed to make things worse. Plus, Pietro wouldn't stay still, which was making things even harder.

"Are you done yet?"

"I guess so…"

"You guess so? What do you mean you guess so?" Pietro stood up and walked over to Evan's mirror.

"AUGH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Pietro shrieked, actually sounding like he was in pain.

"Well, you wouldn't stop moving!

"This is horrible! I can't go out like this! People will laugh and point! They'll say: There goes Pietro! They white hared badly trimmed freak! I'll be ostracized! My family will disown me!"

"You have a family?"

"I can feel my self esteem vanishing-"

"That might be a good thing..."

"I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!"

"Whoa, calm down, Pietro!" Evan said. He hadn't seen Pietro this hysterical since the day someone convinced him his white hair meant he was going to die prematurely. And that was bad. He'd had to duct tape him to a chair and convince him to calm down, which was a complicated, stressful process he never wanted to go through gain.

"How about I let you try with my hair?" Evan offered. He regretted it the moment it came out his mouth. Pietro turned towards him, looking completely calm, exept for that almost hidden gleam of evil crazy genius in his eye.

"Okay. Sit in the chair." Pietro said as if the last minute or so hadn't happened.

Evan sat, nervously. Pietro grabbed the razor off the bed flipped it on, and ran it across the back of Evan's head.

"Dude! What did you do that for?" Evan protested, staring at the bald line running through his hair.

"You messed up my hai- Wait, this could work! I'll just even out this…" Pietro grabbed a scissor, and set to work trimming the 'wings' Evan had cut into his hair to be even.

"What am I gonna do? I'm not shaving my head!" Evan said.

"Here, just cut right here." Pietro picked up the razor again, and cut the bottom strip of hair so it was pointy on the sides. "See? Now it looks like you meant to do this!"

"Huh, not too bad…" Evan said, examining his new haircut.

"Evan! Dinner!" a voice called from downstairs.

"Hey, you staying for dinner?" Evan invited.

Pietro frowned. "Aren't I not supposed to be here?"

"My mom won't mind. I'm pretty sure she thinks you live under our porch you're here so often anyways."

"Maybe I do, Evan, maybe I do. Race you to the table!"


	3. Chapter 3

Rogue stared at her favorite green shirt, knowing what she had to do, but dreading doing it. With a sigh, she dropped it on the bed, and tugged on a sweatshirt. "Pietro!"

Wham!

"Careful, the door's locked," she added.

"Figured that..." Pietro wheezed from the hallway floor.

Rogue walked over and slid the bolt over, and opened the door. Pietro stood up and leaned against the doorframe. "You rang?"

"Unfortunately." She held out her shirt. "It got ripped. Can you fix it?"

"For a price, yeah."

"You fix the shirt, and I don't show everyone that picture of some dark haired girl you keep in your dresser."

"That's not what it looks like!" said Pietro.

Ding dong!

"I'll get the door!" yelled Pietro, grabbing Rogues shirt as he sped down the hall.

Rogue heard the sound of the door being opened, then slammed shut.

"Run! Mystique's at the door! And she's mad!"

"Why's she mad?" Rogue asked, walking to the top of the stairs. Pietro materialized next to her.

"Cause I shut the door in her face. Duh."

"There is something wrong with you." Rogue walked over and opened the door. Mystique stood there, in her Principal Darkholme form. Standing next to her was a tall, brown-haired boy.

"Hello Rogue. May we come in?" Mystique asked, looking pointedly at Pietro.

"Yeah, sure. Who's this?" Rogue asked.

"I'm Karl." The boy said, holding out his hand. Rouge almost reached for it, but then remembered she wasn't wearing gloves.

"I'm Rogue, but I can't really-"

"I know." Karl said. "Your powers were explained to me on the way over. And I have a theory about that. You see, part of my power is also touch based."

"Yeah, so?" asked Rogue, walking over into the living room.

"Well, I think that-"

"Hey Rogue! I'm done! Do you want your shirt back?" Pietro asked from the kitchen.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Just leave it on the table!"

"Why do you have her shirt?" Mystique asked, eyebrows arching.

"Cause she ripped it, and I fixed it, 'cause I'm fabulous at everything." Pietro said. "Who's this? Is he staying? We should put him with Toad!"

"You want me to sleep with your pet?"

"Pretty much," Rogue mumbled.

"Pietro, this is Karl. He is considering joining us. I expect you to show him the same courtesy you show me, alright?" Mystique said.

"I just shut a door on you," Pietro pointed out.

Mystique groaned slightly, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry, he's not usually like this," Rogue lied to Karl.

"I bet not. Did you run out of meds?"

"Hey!" Pietro said, offended.

"That was kinda rude," Rogue pointed out, feeling the need to defend her teammate.

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't trying to offend anyone, it's just that I've met another speedster, and he was much calmer. I just assumed you had ADHD. I'm studying to be a doctor, and I saw some of the signs, so…" Karl trailed off when he caught sight of Mystique's face.

"Pietro Maximoff, are you supposed to be taking some kind of medication that would make my life easier?"

"I dunno."

Mystique made a sound half way between a cough and a growl.

"What! I don't! I was taking them for a while, but my father had me stop a few years ago. I don't think they worked with my heightened metabolism."

Karl tapped Rogue on the shoulder. "There's something I want to try. Can we step into the kitchen for a second?"

"Sure."

They walked in, and sat down at the table.

"Rogue, since your powers involve draining the memories and powers of people you touch, and mine involve siphoning off energy from people I touch, I believe that were we to join hands, our powers would cancel each other out."

"Wait, you mean, I wouldn't hurt you?"

"I don't think so. I'm willing to try. Are you?" Karl asked, holding out his hand.

"Well, if you're sure…" Rogue said, reaching out and taking the offered hand.

She waited for the inevitable pain and the rush of others thoughts.

Nothing happened.

Rogue removed her hand, and tried again. "Oh my gosh, I can touch!" She cried.

Karl laughed. "I'm glad this worked."

"I mean, I've been wearing gloves for so long, and every time I took them off I just hurt someone! Kurt, and Storm, and Scott…"

Karl's face changed, becoming more serious. "Wait, you said Scott. As in Scott Summers?"

"Yeah, why?"

Karl's face again began to change, but not just in emotion this time. His skin turned green, his eyes turned red, and his nose and chin elongated into a beak.

"SSSAURON LIVES!"

"Wow Rogue, I'm kinda offended. You'd rather hang out with a shirtless dinosaur than me? And I fixed you shirt for you…" Pietro complained fro where he stood in the doorway.

"There is definitely something wrong with you!" Rogue shrieked, lunging out of the way of Sauron trying to tackle her.

"You have the red energy… Ssauron will feed!"

"Not today, Zurg!" Pietro said, tripping Sauron up as he ran after Rogue. "What does he mean red energy?"

"I think 'cause I absorbed Scott's powers, he wants to drain my energy!" Rogue theorized as she pushed a chair at Sauron.

"What is going on here?" Mystique asked, standing horrified in the doorway.

"I think he likes it here!"

"Don't just stand there, help us!" yelled Rogue.

Sauron took the slight distraction to whack Pietro in the face with his wing. But as he did that, Mystique ran forwards and kicked him in the side of the head. Sauron dropped like a rock. Unfortunately, so did Pietro. Right onto Rogue, who wasn't wearing any gloves.

"Ahhh!" both teenagers yelled, before Rogue managed to push the speedster off of her.

"Are you alright?" asked Mystique.

"I'm fine," said Rogue, a little quicker than usual. "But maybe you should check on Pietro. I've never seen him this still…"

Mystique knelt down and shook Pietro's shoulder. His eyes flickered open.

"Ooh, that's the last time I ever do anything nice for you…"

"Come on, I'm not carrying you to the couch." Rogue said, putting Pietro's arm around her and helping him to stand.

"Dino guy isn't staying, is he? 'Cause I don't think I can do this more than once a week…"

"No, I'll tell your father that it didn't work out. And see if we can't find some extra strength pills for you." Mystique said.

"Hey!"

"She meant pain pills, idiot. Nothing to do with ADHD. I've got a feeling nothing can slow you down, or lessen your crazy," said Rogue.

"Darn right." Said Pietro, and closed his eyes.

**It is canon that Pietro has ADHD. Also, I am fully aware that he is in these stories way too much, but he's so fun to write!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! I've never had so many (And by so many I mean four) reviews!**

**Oh, and to the guest reviewer, Silver: I'm glad you like it! I don't think we'll see Mrs. Daniels reaction to the boy's new haircuts, but there's a good chance you'll see more of Evan and Pietro as friends. Apparently they've know each other for quite a while, and they seem the type to get into plenty of trouble.**


	4. Chapter 4

"A note for all future attacks on the X-Men. Check the weather first!" Lance Alvers complained, watching the heavy snow fall from inside the X Mansion.

"Oh, come on, it could be worse. If we had decided to walk back home when it started snowing, Toad might have gotten serious frostbite, instead of just freezer burn," Rogue said.

"True," Lance agreed grudgingly "But this whole situation is really awkward. The X-Men are just staring at us."

There was a commotion from the next room, and then Scott Summers walked in, followed by Jean.

"I'm fine! The doctor cleared me, I'm not contagious anymore. Just let me sit in here!"

"Scott, I just don't think it's a good idea to have you around the Brotherhood so soon after you've been sick," Jean said.

"True. The stress might cause him to have a relapse," Pietro said around whatever food was in his mouth.

"What are you eating?" Rogue asked, suspiciously. He'd been gone for a few minutes, and the last thing they needed was for him to eat the X-Men out of house and home in the middle of a blizzard.

Pietro swallowed. "Nothing."

Scott had sunk into an easy chair, and sighed as the heat from the large fire place began to warm him.

"You were sick? What'd you have?" Rogue said.

"I had the flu. It was awful! I had a terrible headache. I had all the lights turned off and my eyes taped shut," Scott answered.

"Your eyes taped shut? Why didn't you just wear a blindfold?" Pietro asked.

"Have you ever worn something tied tightly around your head when you have a migraine?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess that wouldn't be fun. But you're sure you're not catching anymore?"

"Why would you care?" Rogue said. "You got over the flu in two hours."

"Maybe I'm concerned about you, 'sugah'," Pietro smirked.

Rogue rolled her eyes.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence, which no one really tried to break.

"Hey, I bet I could take my glasses off," Scott said suddenly.

"Wouldn't you punch a hole in the wall if you did that?" Lance asked, confused.

"Usually, yeah. But since I haven't been in the sun for a few days, I've absorbed no solar energy, so my eye beams won't work; they have nothing to run on."

"Wait, so you haven't solar charged your eye batteries?" Pietro said.

"I guess you could put it like that…"

"Wow Pietro, you just wrote _Scott Summers for dummies!" _ Lance said.

"I did it for you," Pietro replied.

"So are you gonna take your glasses off?" Rogue asked.

"If you want me to." Scott reached up and removed his glasses, opening his eyes cautiously. "See? No eye beams." He said, smiling at her.

Rogue could not look away. Scott had green eyes. That was unexpected. It was also unexpected how absolutely soulful they were. Rogue decided she had never seen real puppy dog eyes before. These were deep limpid pools of absolute cuteness. It was definitely a good thing he wore those glasses, cause if he didn't, he'd be fending off girls with a stick, herself included.

"What are you staring at?" Pietro interrupted her eye worship.

"Scott's eyes," Rogue breathed, still overwhelmed by their beautiful greenness.

"So what? We see them every-"

"No we don't." Lance said. "Summers, maybe you'd better put the glasses back on, before Kitty comes in."

"What? Why?" Scott said.

"Trust me. Rogue will never be the same again."

Scott shrugged, and slipped his glasses back on. "Ok. It's funny, when I took my glasses off in front of Emma once, she had kinda the same reaction."

"Lucky oblivious jerk," Pietro said under his breath.

Rogue sighed, still thinking about those puppy eyes


	5. Chapter 5

"Like, the movie was great Lance! Thanks for taking me," Kitty said, as they walked up the road towards the Brotherhood house.

"I'm glad you liked it. Maybe we could do it again sometime?" Lance asked, scuffing his foot on the ground.

"Like, totally! I'd love to!" Kitty squealed. "But, would you mind if I just used your bathroom real quick before I go home?"

"Of course not!" Lance said, throwing open the door. He immediately wished he hadn't.

"_If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married long time ago! Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe!"_

Toad, Tabby, Pietro, Pyro and even Blob were completely rocking out, kicking their feet and waving their arms, copying the Just Dance game on the TV.

"And once again, I have no idea what's going on here."

"They're just playing a game, Lance. It looks like fun!" Kitty giggled.

"We only have one Wii remote!" Lance said.

"Oh. So four of them are just, um, backup dancing?" Kitty said.

"I don't suppose you can wait 'til you get to the mansion?" Lance asked, backing out the door. "I don't want them to see us and force me to join in, like the last time."

"What?"

Two teenagers ran down the road to the blasting tune of 'Cotton-Eye Joe'."


	6. Chapter 6

_"David"_

Someone's calling David.

I'm not David.

I'm Lukas.

But maybe I used to be David.

She's always calling "David, David, David!"

We get tired of it.

_"David!"_

I'm Kirbax the Kraklar.

_"David!"_

Now I'm Chronodon. Nobody goes around calling "Chronodon, Chronodon, Chronodon!" all the time.

Nobody says, "Come here, Chronodon!"

They say, "Go away, Chronodon!"

_"David!"_

Better not call me again Because I'm the Wolfman.

Do you know what the Wolfman does when you yell "Come here!" at him?

The Wolfman comes allright. Then He tears you to pieces.

Unless I come to save you.

I kill the Wolfman with one fist.

Because I'm Jack Wayne.

Lucky for you I'm not David, who couldn't kill the Wolfman.

David couldn't kill a Fiend.

_"Thats it, David!"_

I'm not David.

_"I'm coming to get you and you are going to be sorry!"_

I'm a centaur.

_"Come back here, young man!"_

Ha! I'm Marci Sabol, riding a centaur!

_"I couldn't catch him... Charles, will you catch him?"_

I'm Compass Rose, I'm far away!

_"I can't catch him...Jean, will you catch David?"_

I'm Protozoan Porter.

_"Cant anyone...Catch David? ...Scott?...Storm?"_

I'm Zero G. Priestly, and I'm in outer space.

_"You're in big trouble now, young man!"_

We can't hear a word she's saying because I'm halfway to mars.

_"You'll come home when you're hungry and then you're going to get ti!"_

If we could hear you, we'd worry.

Anyhow, you're never hungry on Mars.

_"No TV for the rest of the month!_

K-Zek gets TV. Every Channel. I can watch all my shows and she'd never even know it.

_"You have a lot of learning to go, young man!"_

Wow! We're alone in space!

This is what I wanted my whole life!

I'm hungry.

Space is stupid.

I'm Lukas again.

I'll put on a David face so they don't know I'm Lukas.

I'll go home.

They'll think I'm David. They'll feed me.

And then they better let me watch TV.

Or I'll kill them.

**Based on the book "I'm not Bobby" by Jules Feiffer.**

**All personalities used are canon. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Blob."

Blob looked up. "Yeah, Pietro?"

Pietro waved his hand, as if brushing away his teammate's response. "Blob. Why Blob? And why Toad?"

"What?"

Pietro sat up straight in the easy chair he was sitting on. "Names! Why names?"

Blob began edging towards the stairs. "Uhh, maybe you should ask Lance. I bet he knows…"

"Yes. You should do that. Get Toad, also." Pietro instructed, sitting back and pressing his fingertips together, looking very much like a mad dictator.

Blob lumbered up the stairs and entered Lance's room. "Lance, Pietro's acting weird, and he says he wants you and Toad."

Lance sighed; dropping the school book he was holding and standing up. "Alright, go and get Toad. We might as well see what Pietro's up to now."

As the Brotherhood entered the living room, Pietro zoomed over to Lance. "Quick! Who picked your Codename?"

"Um…Mystique."

"Ha! Did she think it was funny? But you're an anomaly. Everyone else-"Here he paused, surveying the room with serious eyes. "Everyone else…picked their own."

"Ookay…And this is important because?" Lance asked.

"Because _everyone_ else picked their own!" said Pietro, as if imparting the wisdom of the ages.

"I don't get it." Toad said, hopping onto the couch.

The speedster sighed. "Name one mutant we know who doesn't have a codename."

The room was silent for a moment, as three teens thought.

"I can't think of one," admitted Lance.

"Me neither," said Blob.

"Me threeither," added Toad.

"See? It's like some sort of impulse only mutants get, to pick a codename. And not just any name, it's something to do with our powers, sometimes a play on our names…"

"Like what?" asked Lance.

"Your name is _Lance Alvers._ Mytique must think she's so smart for noticing that. And Toads real name is Todd. Hmm. Do you think that if his name was Frank, we would be calling him Frog?" Pietro paused for a moment to muse this.

Toad nodded. "Yeah, I get it now. And you picked your name, 'cause you're fast and have silver hair."

"What? No! That not why I picked it! Why would I go for something so stupidly obvious? We don't call you Brown Jumper, do we?"

"Well what does it mean, if that not it?"

"Quicksilver is another name for mercury. And in Roman myth, Mercury was the god with wings on his feet," Pietro explained.

"Wow. That's pretty cool. Nice hidden meaning. I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to think it out that deeply." Lance said.

"I have super speed. I think ten times faster than everyone else. Why does everyone expect me to be an idiot? I'm a genius!" Pietro complained.

"Do all geniuses run into walls by accident?" Toad asked innocently.

Pietro leaned forwards. "No, but all know how to make their enemies live a living hell." He growled.

Toad gulped. "Hehe. Good thing we're friends then, right?"

"Leave me. I must decide whether or not this is a plot to destroy mutant kind."

"What? You have been watching way too many of Magneto's speeches. Try a soap opera next time you want to watch TV. I'll be upstairs. Get me if someone's dying." Lance said, walking upstairs, shaking his head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long wait! Here's an extra long chapter, and I'll post another in a couple days.**

"O for a muse of fire!" the young reporter said, dreamily. He was startled out of his daydreaming by his phone ringing. He grabbed it, and read the caller ID. It was the editor of the paper he wrote for. Uh-oh. He hit the accept call button. "Allo?"

"Allerdyce! What is this garbage you sent me?"

_St. John Allerdyce, Reporter and writer of the _Love on Fire_ Gothic romance book series._ St. John thought. It did sound rather impressive. Of course this newest book would never get finished, if people didn't stop calling complaining about his newspaper articles. Anyways, what was wrong with an article that was-

"PRO MUTANT?!" his editor screamed, jolting St. John out of his thoughts again.

"Yeah, the piece is sympathetic to mutants. So?"

"So? So? People don't want to hear about how mutants are 'misunderstood'. They want mutants portrayed as the rabid animals they are! I'm not printing this. Don't you ever send me any more of this junk!" Click.

St. John put his phone down, and mentally rewrote his title. _St. John Allerdyce, Reporter, Mutant, and writer of the _Love on Fire _gothic romance book series. _"Should probably add pyromaniac to that," he muttered.

There was no denying that fact. St. John was obsessed with fire. He always had been. When he was a kid, he had burnt his house down. The police knew it was arson, but they didn't connect it to him. After hearing all kinds of talk about how most arsonists are mentally disturbed, St. John decided to keep his little preoccupation to himself. Now, he decided, his pyromania must have been destiny. He grabbed a lighter off the desk, lit a piece of paper on fire, and, holding it in his hand, watched it burn. The flame twisted, curling into the shape of a miniature dragon. St. John laughed quietly. _Life is better when things are burning…_

Tap, tap, tap.

St. John hastily extinguished the fire, and walked over to answer the door. A very attractive blonde with short wavy hair and blue eyes stood there.

"Lady, I don't know who you are, but you're probably in the wrong place."

"And why would that be?" she purred.

St. John smirked. "Not really my type."

"And that would be?" she asked.

"A little more…fiery." Fire was the love of his life. It was the most beautiful thing ever. He didn't understand why some people didn't like it. Flames made everything better…

St. John was shocked away from his thoughts by a squishing noise, and the fact that the woman standing in his door way had just turned into a ginger.

Well this went a little beyond his usual hallucinations of the world going up in flames.

"Aiiii!"

He slammed the door and ran into the bathroom.

"Wait! Just let me talk to you!" The voice came from inside his apartment.

_Dang, dang, why didn't I lock the door?_ "Go away! Can't a bloke have a nervous breakdown in the privacy of his own home?"

Someone sighed outside the bathroom door. "You're not having a nervous breakdown. My name is Mystique. I'm a mutant. Like you. My power allows me to change shape."

_Oh._ So he hadn't finally snapped. That was good.

St. John unlocked the bathroom door, and walked out. The lady was back as a blonde. _Mmm. Pity. I preferred the redhead…_

"Saint John, I'm here to offer you-"

"St. John."

Mystique paused, looking confused. "I'm sorry?"

"My name. It's spelled S-T-period-J-O-H-N, but its pronounced 'sin-jihn'. Not 'Saint John'."

"Sint-jin?"

"No, it's- you know what? Why don't you just call me John?" _Bloody Americans and their accents…_

"All right then, John. I'm here to offer you a position in a mutant's rights activists group, known as the 'Acolytes.' It's based in America-"

"Who would I be assisting?"

"Pardon?"

"The definition of the word acolyte is one who attends or assists. So I'd be a follower. Who am I following?" St. John said.

"A man named Magneto. He's-"

"Head of the largest mutant terrorist group in the world. I know."

"Would you stop interrupting me!" snapped Mystique.

"Hey, I'm a reporter. I know current events, alright? So get to the point. I'm busy," Replied St. John.

"Have another nervous breakdown planned, do you?" Mystique said sarcastically.

St. John grinned and slipped his hand into the pocket of his sweatshirt. _Aww, please give me one more reason to burn you to a crisp…_

"Basically, Magneto is in need of loyal followers. I've been reading your articles, and you've shown Pro-Mutant tendencies. I've also observed you using your pyrokinesis. You have an impressive amount of control."

"Eh, not as much as you'd think."

"Joining the Acolytes would mean you be actively promoting the mutant cause. No more hiding behind papers. With Magneto at our head, the Acolytes will change the world," Mystique finished.

"Hmm. Tempting. Mind if I ask a few questions?" St. John asked.

"Go ahead."

"I'd have to move to America, wouldn't I?"

"Magneto would pay your way there, as long as you agree to become an Acolyte."

"But I don't speak American, I'd need a translator."

"What?"

"Do you provide healthcare?"

"Magneto will pay for any medical aid his Acolytes need."

"Are we stealing from people? Cos I'm not gonna lie. I'm more a 'blow up the bank and laugh as money burns' kinda guy."

"The Acolytes are a nonprofit-"

"Wait, so I wouldn't get paid? How will I afford housing?"

"You'd live at the Acolyte base, with all the other Acolytes."

"It's not co-ed, is it? I have insecurities."

"No, there are no females currently living at the Acolyte base," Mystique growled. She looked annoyed.

_Good._

"Well, I'm not really interested, but-"

"You dare refuse?" Mystique roared. She changed again, turning blue with pupil-less eyes and bright red hair.

"Auugh!"

"Does this form disturb you, little pyrokinetic?"

"Sheila, you are _Blue_!"

"Mutant and proud. The day will come when we can freely walk around, with no one cowering in fear-"

"That day's never gonna come if you keep using your real form to SCARE THE SOCKS OFFA PEOPLE!" St. John yelled.

Mystique looked up. "You…may have a point. But I believe I'm done here. Good day, Mr. Allerdyce." She tuned, and walked towards the door.

"Wait!"

She stopped walking. "What is it now?"

"You shouldn't grind your teeth like that; it's bad for the enamel. Also, I've changed my mind. I want to join the Acolytes," St. John said.

Mystique tuned towards him. "Really? What about pay?"

"Eh, I'm a successful novelist. I'll scrape by."

Mystique held her hand out. "Then welcome to the Acolytes, John."

St. John grinned. "Call me Pyro."


	9. Chapter 9

It was pretty calm in the K-Mart. A few shoppers browsed the aisles, picking up cheap food items or examining badly made action figures.

WHAM!

Someone ran through the doors, arms flailing, long brown hair streaming and twisting behind him, some sort of bright blue energy ray pouring from his mouth. He stopped, looked wildly around, and said in a scary demonic voice: "Why is this place even still in business?"

Then he ran out, much the same way he came in. The few shoppers didn't move, still in shock over the odd spectacle they had just witnessed. A girl laughed, rather hysterically, and was stared at by her brother. "What just happened?" He inquired.

"I literally have no idea," the girl said, still giggling.

"Dang mutants," mumbled an employee.

**I should probably explain this…**

**You see, my brother and I were having a conversation about our fanfictions, and I said I wanted to write one where David Haller, A.K.A Legion, runs into Cain Marko. What my brother heard what that I was going to write one where David Haller runs into K-Mart. And this is what happened. **

**To further justify this piece of insanity, it was very late, and I was tired and kind of hysterical. **

**~SteampunkGirl**


	10. Chapter 10

"Allo!"

Lance stared at the person sitting on his porch. "Um, did you say hello?"

The person grinned at him, like Lance was the funniest thing since the banana peel. "No, I said 'Allo!' but that's close enough."

Wait a second, Lance knew this guy. He worked with Magneto. His name was Rusty. No, Firestar. No, that wasn't it either….

"Pyro!" Pietro Maximoff appeared next to him in a white blur. "What are you doing here?"

Pyro stood up and brushed off his uniform. "I need your help."

"Why can't you just ask the Acolytes? _They_ don't have homework," Lance said.

"Hey, I had homework until I quit college to blow stuff up," Pyro said.

"You…What?"

"I know," Pyro grinned. "Best decision ever!"

"Wasn't quite what I was thinking."

"What do you need our help with? Anything that'll delay homework is ok with me!" Pietro said.

"Pietro, it takes you ten minutes to do all your work."

"That's not the point!" the speedster insisted.

Lance sighed. "You pissed off Rogue again, didn't you?"

"Maybe…."

"Well, What I need help with will definitely take you away from all members of the female species!" Pyro said.

"Females aren't another species."

"Course they are. Now, we'll need a flashlight for each of us," Pyro said, playing with his lighters. "Or I could just light-"

"I'll get flashlights," Lance interrupted.

He went inside and spent a few minutes rifling through kitchen drawers until he found three working flashlights. Before he left, he wrote a note to Rogue, Toad and Blob saying that he was going out, and if there was a _serious_ emergency (the toaster not working doesn't count, Blob) to call Mystique. He put it on the kitchen table and walked back outside.

"…And that is why I never wear suspenders in public," Pyro finished. "Hey, you got the flashlights?"

"Yup," Lance said, handing one to Pyro and one to Pietro.

"Alright, let's go!" Pyro cheered, setting off down the street.

"Wait, where are we going?" Lance asked.

Pyro stopped suddenly, almost causing Lance and Pietro to run into him. He pushed at an askew manhole cover with his foot, opening it. "Down."

"You can't be serious," Lance said.

"Me first!" said Pietro, climbing down.

Pyro laughed. "Ha! Never knowingly be serious." He bowed dramatically. "After you, mate."

Lance climbed down wrinkling his nose at the smell. "Gross. Why are we in the sewer?"

Pietro clicked on his flashlight, shining it at the floor and scaring away several bugs. "Eww. I better not come back home with lice or leprosy or something."

"We are here," Pyro said, "to look for mutant armadillos."

Pietro blinked.

"Ok, I'm gonna go check on the Brotherhood…" Lance said, backing away slowly, trying not to make and sudden movements.

"Wait!" Pietro said, grabbing Lance's arm and tugging him out of hearing range of Pyro. "Look, Pyro's not the sanest guy, but he doesn't say he's seen something if he hasn't seen something. It might not be a mutant armadillo, but whatever it was; it looked like that to him."

"So you're saying that there is _something_ down here? Bayville's very own albino crocodiles?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Lance looked over at Pyro, who was following a red bug walking in circles. _I'm gonna regret this…_ "Ok, let's go find his 'mutant armadillo."

Pietro sped over and tapped Pyro on the shoulder to get his attention. "Ok, take us to the armadillo."

"They're coming to take me away, ha-ha! They're coming to take me away, he-he! To the funny farm, where life is wonderful all day long, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in the clean white coats and they're coming to take me away haha!" Pyro sang.

Lance pressed his hands over his ears a little tighter. "I wish they would, and soon!"

"Agreed!" winced Pietro.

Pyro stopped singing, and looked around. "This is where I saw them last time."

Lance studied the walls around him. It looked just like every other bit of sewer they had walked through so far. He sighed. Wait, there was a difference. "Guys? Does it smell like blood in here?"

Pyro sniffed. "Yeah, it does a bit. Maybe-"

_Quissssh Thunk!_

"Aiiee! Flaming mutant armadillos!" Pyro screamed.

The piece of bone that had been shot at their heads was indeed on fire. The figure that had shot it was covered in armored plates, kind of like a spiky armadillo. Wait a minute, there was another spiky armadillo next to the flamey spiky armadillo. _Aw man, I'm starting to describe things like Pyro…_

"You are trespassing in the Morlock tunnels. Leave now!" said flamey armadillo.

"Or you'll go home with a few new piercings," said the other, who was apparently female. She had pink-ish skin.

"Daniels?" said Pietro.

"What?" said Lance.

"Pretty," breathed Pyro, pulling the still on fire spike out of the wall.

Pietro took a step forwards. "Dude! What are you doing? I haven't seen you with the X-Men for ages! Why are you living in the sewers?"

"Why are you in the sewers?" Spyke retorted.

"Pyro said he saw some mutant armadillos down here. We came to help him find them. I'm assuming he meant you," Lance said. "But why are you down here?"

"I'm a Morlock now. We live in the sewers," Spyke explained, leaning to the side, and looking behind Lance, Pietro and Pyro for a second. Lance glanced behind him, but didn't see anything.

"Yeah, we're the mutants no one wants to look at. So why don't you and your pretty faces leave?" snarled the female.

Pietro sped over to her side. "You're not that hard on the eyes. The whole spiky pink thing is kinda cool," he said.

"You really think that?"

Spyke was still looking behind them. And Lance still didn't see anything. Maybe he just didn't want to look at Pyro set bugs on fire.

"Course I do. Chicks with visible mutations are totally my thing!"

"You've never dated anyone with a visible mutation," Lance said. "Well, there was that Crystal girl with the weird hair, but that's about it."

"Well, it was a sweet thing to say," said the pink one. "Torpid, you can drop him last."

"What?" Lance turned around just in time to see a girl who scarily resembled a cabbage patch doll, with really big hand get up from where she had been crouching next to an unconscious Pyro. _So that's why he's been so quiet…_ was Lance's last thought as the girl reached out and touched his arm, and he sank into oblivion.

"Lance. Lance Alvers, come on!"

"Lance, mate, you'd better wake up, there's a cockroach in your hair."

_This is such a weird dream…_ Something crawly wandered over his ear and then headed toward his eye. _Wait a second…._

Lance sat upright with a small (But totally manly) shriek and whacked at his head, trying to dislodge the bug. "Argh, gross!"

Pietro nodded. "I know, I woke up with a beetle in my pants."

Lance stood up. "Over sharing a bit there…"

"Well, there is good news," piped Pyro.

"Really? What would that be?" asked Lance.

Pyro pointed up. "The mutant armadillos dropped us off at the manhole on your street!"

Pietro was halfway up the ladder before Lance could blink. "I'm never coming back here! I have enough trouble battling the X-Men, we don't need to let everyone know that there's an entire faction of mutants living under Bayville."

Lance nodded as he followed Pietro up and out. "Yeah, Magneto would probably send us out to recruit some of the Morlocks."

"Well, I wouldn't mind if that pink bony girl joined…"

"Pietro!" yelled a very annoyed sounding southern voice. Rogue stomped into sight. "What in God's green earth do you get off- gah!" She backed away from the trio. "You all stink! What have you been doing?"

"We found mutant armadillos in the sewers!" Pyro explained enthusiastically.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Sure, and I'm Anna Paquin. Hose off before you come inside. And don't come near me until you've had a bath!" Rogue ran back toward the Brotherhood House.

Lance sniffed his shirt and gagged. "Man, we really do stink."

"Wanna go sit in Cyclops's car?" Pietro asked.

Lance grinned. "I claim driver's seat!"

"Fine, but I get shotgun. That's where Jean Grey sits."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **Hey Readers. I'm working on some chapters where the Brotherhood goes dimension hopping. Should I put it as a separate story, or just put the chapters up in here? You decide, I can't!**

**Many thanks,**

**~SteampunkGirl**


	11. Chapter 11

Rogue sat in front of the TV, watching some soap opera and eating a ham sandwich. Pietro walked in and sat down next to her with his own sandwich. For a minute, the two silently stared at the screen. Then Pietro broke the silence. "Rogue, do you looove me?"

Rogue's eyes never left the screen. "No."

"Okay." Pietro said, and ate his sandwich.

**I ship it, but I can't write it...**

**The dimension hopping chapters will be put as a differant story, but its part of The Sake of the Sake universe. **

**~SteampunkGirl**


	12. Chapter 12

The picture happened to be the only one they had of Rogue. Toad had snapped it just as she had made a grab for the camera. The actual snapshot now looked as if Rogue was trying to reach up out of the paper and strangle someone. Under it was written:

_Girl, about 15 yrs old_

_Brown hair w/ white stripe_

_Wearing black collar with spikes_

_Answers to the name of Rogue_

_If found, call 555-7343 and ask for the Brotherhood_

"Ok, Toad, spit," instructed Pietro, holding the flyer up backwards. Toad shot a mouthful of slime at it, and Pietro pressed it against the lamppost where it stuck fast.

"How many more of these we gotta do?" Toad asked.

"Just about ten. Hopefully someone will call about Rogue. I can't believe she wandered off like this!"

"Maybe she went to live with the X-Men," Toad suggested.

Pietro and Toad laughed.

"Good one! Come on, let's finish up here," Pietro said.

**Guys, this is going to be the last chapter I post here for a while. But you can have more of the Brotherhood in my new story, ****The Brotherhood of Bayville's Dimensional Boogie.**** The first chapter of that will be out soon, and it'll only be about seven chapters long. After that, I'll return to this story. Ideas for where you want the Brotherhood to go will be gladly accepted. Till next time, Farewell!**

**~SteampunkGirl**


	13. Chapter 13

**It's finally up! The Brotherhood of Bayville's Dimensional Boogie chapter one!**

**Here are some scenes:**

"_Four life signs detected. _Scanning_. Prepare for transportation." _

"What?"

"Oh, Sh-"

_**Fizzzz BAM!**_

There was a bright flash of light, and a feeling like their stomachs had all been pulled out, turned inside out, and then violently shoved back in.

Rogue opened her eyes to see- the Brotherhood.

Well, _a _Brotherhood. There was Pietro (in green, not blue), and a dreadlocked Toad, hiding behind a chair. Blob, still hugely fat, but wearing a rather revealing black leotard. Lance was in the corner, with a mustache, and there was a white skinned girl with a black spot over one eye.

And there was a Rogue. Different hair style and clothes, but still her.

"Whoa," said Pietro.

"Where are we?" asked Lance.

"Urk, where's the batheroom?" asked Toad, looking greener than normal.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" asked the spotted girl, pulling a gun out of her thigh holster and aiming it at them.

Pietro coughed. "We're the Brotherhood of Bayville. Who are you?"

"Well, I guess that would make sense. You know what doesn't though?" Pietro sped over to the older speedster. "Your costume. What's up with the collar? What is this, the seventies?"

**WHAM!**

"There goes our last undamaged wall," Domino said.

Is my dad still a jerk here?"

"Does Toad make slime?"

"Do you ever get small white spots on zucchini? Are those ok?"

**Want to know what is going on? Find the story. Follow. And if you're feeling nice, review!**

**~SteampunkGirl**


	14. Chapter 14

**I live! **

**Sorry, I had a really bad case of writers block. But I'm back! With Pietro, Toad and the problems of society no less!**

**There is bad news. The Brotherhood of Bayville's Dimensional Boogie is going on hiatus. But I will post more chapters on here. I have also started a Young Justice story called ****Nothing Odd Going on Here, ****sp check that out!**

**Also, I'm changing my pen name from SteampunkSmugglerGirl to Unassailable Heart. **

**~SteampunkGirl**

"You know everyone's problem these days?" Pietro Maximoff asked his team mate, Toad, from where they were sitting on the X-Mansions front steps.

"Amphibians make them violent?" Toad suggested.

"No! It's that the world around them is so weird, that it doesn't seem weird anymore! They just accept that they'll be battling aliens and super villains for the rest of their lives."

"We've never fought aliens…"

"I'm pretty sure it happens all the time," Pietro said. "But my point is, if I did something weird-"

"Please don't take your pants off," Toad begged.

"Fine, but if I did something _really_ weird, the X-men probably wouldn't even notice! Here, watch this," Pietro ordered, standing up, putting his hands on the ground, and kicking his legs up into the air. "I'm gonna stand on my head, and if anyone mentions it, I'll…."

"Eat a bug," Toad suggested.

"Sure. Fine. I'll eat a bug," Pietro agreed.

The front door to the mansion opened, revealing Lance and Kitty.

"Like, thanks for coming over Lance. I totally need an A on this science project, and I think you can totally help me ace it!" Kitty said, fluttering her eyelashes.

"No problem. Science is my middle name!" Lance said.

"No, it not," said Pietro. "It's Szilard."

Lance casually gave Pietro's legs a push, making him wobble dangerously for a second before regaining his balance. "Ha. What a joker you are! He's totally joking. Joker," he said, sounding a little forced.

"Bye Lance! See you tomorrow!" kitty said, walking back into the mansion and shutting the door.

Lance bent down to look Pietro in the eyes. "How do you know my middle name?" he growled.

"It's on your birth certificate. Duh."

"Why were you looking at my-"

"Why are you guys here?" Scott asked, seeing them as he rounded the corner of the building, followed by Jean and Evan.

"I was helping Kitty with her school, no big deal," Lance said.

"And those two?" Jean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You can't go through the drive-thru if you're walking. And Lance is the only one with the car," Toad said. "We were just waiting until he was done with Kitty to go get food."

"And I'm here to test the 'you can't go through the drive-thru if you're walking' rule," Pietro added, still upside down.

"Well, it looks like Lance is done. So scram," Scott said.

"Fine," Lance snapped, walking towards his car.

"Do you think you can make it down the steps like that?" Toad asked Pietro.

"Let's find out!"

"Jean, did you borrow my- why are you upside down?" Rogue asked, as she walked out of the mansion.

" Aw yes!" Toad cheered.

"Oh no!" Pietro moaned.

"This'll be way more fun than the drive-thru thing! Hey look! A cicada!"

"Evan, why is Pietro eating a bug?" Rogue asked, as they watched the speedster cough and gag on a bite of bug.

"I don't know. You think he would have learned after the first two times," Evan said, shaking his head.

"Guess he's just weird," Rogue sighed.

…

**Everyone just **_**thinks**_** they're the normal one….**

**And yes, Lance's middle name really is Szilard. And no, I don't know how to pronounce it. **

**Also, this story is in no way meant to condone the eating of bugs; they are disgusting, and hazardous to your health. Trust me on this. Leave them alone and far away from your mouth.**

**~SteampunkGirl**

**Ok, so I've been told that bugs are actually a good source of protein, and safe to eat. But they have big bug eyes, and they wiggle and they're crawly. So just say no, true believers. Don't eat bugs. **

**~SPG**


	15. Chapter 15

**In T-Minus 5...**

**~Unassailable Heart **

Toad sat cross legged on the floor, staring enraptured at the TV screen. It was about to happen, the part he was waiting for. As the music began playing, Toad hooped up and began to dance and sing along with the song.

"_It's not easy being green, having to spend the day the color of leaves!"_

He hopped up onto the wall, and then flipped off onto the floor again. Man, he loved this song!

"_When I think it could be nicer bein' red, or yellow, or gold, or something much more colorful like that!"_

Toad pirouetted around the room, having more fun now than he had had in days.

"_It's not easy bein' green, it seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things-"_

Wham! The front door flew open.

Toad froze in the middle of his dancing, arms above his head, leg in the air.

Lance seemed equally paralyzed. The two boys stood there for a minute, staring at each other.

"Toad, what are you doing?"

Toad dropped back into his usual crouch. "Just…watching Sesame Street."

Lance nodded slowly. "Okay then. I'll be upstairs. Um, keep it down, I guess."

Toad nodded weakly. "Uh, you're not gonna say anything about this to the others about what just happened, are you?"

"Toad,_ I'm_ not sure what just happened."

Lance Alvers walked to his room, determined to get some sleep if he was going to face another day with his insane housemates.


	16. Chapter 16

"Ow!" Twelve year old Evan Daniels dropped the sewing needle he was holding, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Why does this keep slipping?"

"Because you're trying to push it through really thick fabric. Here, use this thimble," Pietro Maximoff said.

"Thanks. But why couldn't Miss Teek fix these for us?" Evan said, resuming his task of sewing the cuffs on a pair of jeans.

"Something about not wanting to spend all her time fixing the clothes of small demons? She's kinda crazy," Pietro said, carefully stitching a collar back onto a shirt.

"Maybe we should stop climbing over that barbed wire fence to get to that gravel pit," Evan suggested.

The two boys looked at each other. "Nah," they both said.

"Besides, sewing's not that hard. Its kinda fun," the white haired boy added.

Evan dropped his needle and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "Ow! Says you! This is hard!"

"Well, it's not your fault I'm better at this that you are," Pietro said kindly. "Wait, yes it is."

Evan grabbed the jeans he had been working on, and threw them at his friends head. "If you're so great at it, here, do mine too!"

Pietro grabbed them. "Fine! It'll take me about thirty seconds!"

Evan snorted. "In your dreams. Not even you are that fast."

Pietro smirked. "Think what you want, Evan, but I'll always be faster than you."

Evan was about to reply, when the door to his room opened. "Boys, it's- What are you doing" Mrs. Daniels asked.

Pietro gave her puppy eyes. "I'm fixing Evan's clothes for him."

"What? That's not-"

"Evan! For goodness sakes, Pietro is a guest here! We don't make guests work. Now, the both of you wash up, it's time for dinner," Evan's Mom said, leaving.

Evan turned, glaring at Pietro. "Time to find out just how fast you are…"

Pietro laughed as he ran down the hall to the bathroom. "I win!"


	17. Chapter 17

Jean Grey yawned, and sat down in a fluffy arm chair, looking at the newly risen sun, and thinking about what a wonderful Saturday it would be. The younger students were away on a field trip, and she and her boyfriend Scott had planned on spending the whole day together. Nothing could mess today up!

Ding dong!

Jean started. Who would be ringing the doorbell this early on a Saturday?

Ding dong! Ding dong! Dingdongdingdong! Ding dong!

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Jean said, hurrying to the front door. She unlocked it, and pushed it open. "Sorry to keep you- Hey, what are you- _is that Magneto?!"_

"Yes," said Wanda Maximoff. Her brother nodded from where he was holding his unconscious father's arm where he was slumped between his children.

"Is he ok?"

"Just some minor head trauma. He should be fine," Pietro said easily.

"Head trauma? What did you do?" Jean asked, slightly confusedly.

"What? Where am I? What happened?" Magneto slurred, finally waking up. Wanda dropped his arm, grabbed his helmet from near her feet and-

WONG!

-hit him over the head with it. Jean's jaw dropped to her knees.

"What is going on here?" She cried.

The twins shared a look. "We can explain," Wanda said.

"We need you to wipe Magneto's mind," Pietro added.

Jean leaned against the door frame. "That is so not an explanation. Why don't you come in? You can put Magneto on the couch." She was uncertain if she should offer the Maximoffs drinks. What was the proper protocol for this situation? "Why do you want me to wipe your father's mind? Did you do something?"

"Other than knock him out with his helmet, once on accident and once on purpose? Not lately."

"Pietro, hush. Look, Magneto's our father, and we admire him very much. But as far as actual parenting comes in, something seems to be…lacking," Wanda explained.

"But we realized that if certain events in our dear father's past were to be forgotten, he might actually try raising us himself!" Pietro continued. "We had an older sister named Anya, and from what we've heard, Magneto was quite affectionate with her."

"And Wade says that once the Professor wiped his mind for a while, and he became a kindergarten teacher. And in an alternate timeline, he got remarried and had a son named Charles, whom he got along fine with."

"Then there was that whole clone thing, and Joseph didn't have all Magneto's memories, and we got on really well!"

"But then Magneto killed him," Wanda finished.

"So we don't want to hurt him, all we want is a decent father," Pietro said.

Jean still felt confused. Magneto had a clone? There was _another_ Maximoff sibling? Someone was crazy enough to marry Magneto? Who was Wade? And should she really even consider their request? "Look, I don't think I'm powerful enough to try to wipe someone's mind like that. I might end up breaking something. Um, maybe you could come back another day and talk to Professor Xavier?"

"Nah, we'll head over to the Braddocks' house next and see if they're home," Pietro said.

"Can you get me and Magneto over the ocean together?" Wanda asked, standing up.

"Hmm, Magneto first. I'll come back for you. And I'll bring some tea cakes from that shop you like," Pietro promised.

"Why are cakes better in Britain?" Wanda wondered as they left.

Jean shut the door behind them, and then sat back down, still trying to puzzle out what had just happened.

"Hey Jean! Ready for breakfast? I've got the X-Jet, so we can go anywhere," Scott said, walking into the room.

"As long as it's nowhere near Britain, I'm good," Jean said, wanting to avoid all Maximoffs until Magneto woke back up.

"What?"

"Never mind. Let's go!"


	18. Chapter 18

"Shh!" Lance Alvers hissed at his two giggling partners in crime. "You're acting like girls, and you're gonna get us caught! They'll feed you to the Wolverine, and I'm not going to stop them. What on earth is so funny, anyways?"

Pietro stifled his laughter, and Toad struggled to do the same as the speedster replied. "I don't know, it's just we're always fighting the X-Men, and when we try to break into their base when they're out, it's like taking candy from a baby!"

"Plus, they had a bunch of Kool-Aid before we left, so they're all jittery," added Rogue.

Lance face palmed. "Great. Just great. Let's just find the Professor's office and get those files before these two idiots get us killed."

"Whatever," Rogue said, tossing her head.

After walking down several hallways, and opening a lot of doors, the Brotherhood stumbled upon the place they were searching for.

"Wow, it's really normal looking!" said Toad.

"What were you expecting, the Death Star command center?" said Lance, sarcastically. "Get looking for the files on the X-Men! They have to be here somewhere…"

"Man, the Brotherhood would be so much better if we had the Rebels on our side!" Toad said rifling through desk drawers.

"The Empire was more efficient. They had control of the entire galaxy!" Pietro pointed out.

"Yeah, but the Rebels had Han Solo," said Rogue.

"Han Solo's useless," argued Pietro. "He adds nothing, except distracting Leia!"

"You just don't like him 'cause he's cuter than you and you've got a crush on princess Leia," Rogue said.

Pietro blushed. "Not true!"

Toad cackled. "That does explain the poster you have taped to that back of your closet-"

Pietro tacked him, slamming both their weights hard against a book case, causing the top row of books to fall off, hitting several heads, and effectively ending the fight.

"Dude! Now we have to put all this back."

"Oh, like you couldn't do it in five seconds," said Rogue.

"More like point five seconds. Which is better than _you_ could do!" said Pietro.

"Really? Let's test that theory…" growled Rogue, taking off her glove.

"Hey, hey! Cool it, all of you! The last thing I need is to carry home an unconscious teenager," snapped Lance.

"You're a teenager!"

"Hey man, check this out, yo," interrupted Toad. "It's some scrap book thing."

"The X-Men keep a scrapbook? What of? Spandex throughout the ages?" Pietro asked.

"No, it looks like these pictures are from when the X-Mansion opened. Look, here's Professor X with hair!" said Lance.

"But why's Pietro standing next to him?" asked Toad, confused.

"What? Gimme that!" said speedster snatched the book from Toad, and examined the pictures. "This isn't me, its Magneto. He was born with white hair too."

"Wow, you look just like your dad when he was young." marveled Rogue.

"Naw, I'm way more good-looking!"

Rogue eyed him, then the picture. "Debatable."

"He's wearing a turtleneck sweater!" said Pietro

"Still. Could you wear one and still look hot?"

"Did you just call my father hot?"

"Okay!" interrupted Lance, wanting the conversation over. "Let's get back to looking for that file!"

"But wait!" said Toad. "Look, Magneto crashed Summers' tenth birthday!"

"And the X-Men's eighth anniversary," added Rogue, peering over Toad's shoulder

"Summers' eleventh birthday."

"Scott and Jean's middle school graduation?"

"A meeting between Mystique and the Professor? Why did that happen?" puzzled Lance.

"The Professor's fiftieth birthday."

"Scott's thirteenth birthday…"

"Why has he been to more of Summers' birthdays than mine?" growled Pietro.

Ding!

The Brotherhood all looked up.

"What was that?" asked Toad.

"Um, I think the elevator," gulped Lance

They all watched in horror as the knob slowly turned, and the door was pushed open to reveal- Professor X!

He stared at the group of teenagers sitting in his office. "Goodness. Did you all have something to discuss with me?"

The Brotherhood looked around the room, no one willing to speak first. Just as the silence was becoming unbearable, Pietro spoke.

"Magneto sent us to steal a file about the X-Men to find out their weaknesses!"

"Pietro!" Lance and Rogue yelled at the same time.

The Professor merely raised an eyebrow at them and said, "Thank you, Pietro. Now, if you would be so kind as to clean up this mess, I believe there's a plate of cookies downstairs that might be consumed before my students get home."

"How could you have said that?" Lance raged under his breath as they all picked up books.

"I can't help it, he makes me nervous!" protested Pietro.

"Well, he doesn't seem mad, and now we get cookies, yo!" Toad said happily.

Rogue had picked up the scrapbook, but instead of putting it away, she turned to the Professor. "What is this? Why is Magneto at so many events here? And why do you have a book of it?"

Professor X took the book from her, opening it. "It's a record of all Magnus and I have accomplished together over the years. From large things, like opening this mansion and starting the Brotherhood, to small things, like the X-Men's first mission, or the day Pietro's mutation appeared. Now, you look to be all done, why don't you go have those cookies? I'll give Magnus a call, and you won't get in trouble. But please, refrain from breaking into my house again!"

"I can do that," agreed Lance.

"Me too," added Toad.

"I'll try, Uncle Charles," said Pietro.

"Uncle Charles?" asked Rogue

"Um…Race you downstairs for X-Cookies!" said Pietro.

**The End**


End file.
